When college costs are too much to bear

Many parents feel trapped: they love their children and want them to get a first-rate education but they would also like the option to afford food after the tuition bills are paid. Some parents sacrifice everything to pay for college: securing another job, taking out a second home mortgage, delaying retirement and abandoning Friday night dinners at the Olive Garden.

And then some parents take the easy way out and disown their children to avoid paying for college.

Below is an actual letter written by two formerly loving parents to their college-bound child:

Dear Money-Sucking Burden:

While it’s been a fun seventeen years, the joyride is over. We fed you, clothed you, and put up with that annoying babble language you spoke in for the first year of life. Our obligation to you ends now.

When you were born, we had no idea it was going to cost us over $200,000 to finance your higher education. We were hoping you’d go into a field like stripping or mining. You brazenly ignored our suggestion to go into the Mafia where a college degree is not required.

We have no choice but to wash our hands of you. It’ll be an adjustment at first, but the money we’ll save by severing our ties with you more than makes up for no longer getting those lame Mother and Father’s Day e-cards. Send us a postcard every now and then and let us know how you’re doing. Good luck with the whole college thing.

Fondly,
Your Biological Creators

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