College Fairs and Admissions Officers

There are a few cardinal rules to follow at college fairs. For example, don’t just bark at the admissions officer: “how is your psychology department?” Show that a.o. that you’ve done a little research and say, “I heard Professor Tinky is conducting groundbreaking research on why humans wait until the last minute to replace toilet paper. Does he teach any freshman seminars?”

Another way to make a positive impression: don’t follow the admissions officer to his/her car after a college fair. This only serves to put your mental stability in a questionable light and cause the ao to reach for mace.

Don’t bogart the admissions officer---because hogging an admissions officer’s time is considered really bad form. You’re not the only one who seeks answers to burning questions like, “are those key chains free?” Be aware that there are other people who want a crack at this person’s time and that you’re not entitled to special privileges (unless your parents have donated a significant amount of money to the school----in that case you can probably purchase the admissions officer).

A few other “DON’T’s” to keep in mind when talking to an admissions officer:

• Don’t start the conversation by asking, “Why would anyone want to be an admissions officer?”

• Don’t take a lifetime supply of pens

• Don’t rattle off your GPA and test scores and ask the ao if she thinks you’ll get in---she needs to be at a round table to officially reject you

• Don’t ask questions like, “where is Boston University located again?”

• Don’t slip the admissions officer a twenty and whisper, “see you next September”

• Don’t display too much enthusiasm: statements like, “my first word was Rensselaer” and “I feel tingly when the football team wins” are interpreted as scary

• Don’t allow your parent to call you: sweetie, pussycat, honey, lovebug, or ask if you would prefer a snack from the breast or bottle

• Don’t end any conversation with an ao with, “I’ll Facebook stalk you later”

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